14 − five =

five × three =

Hellboy [2019] is the reboot of the successful films from over a decade ago. This time David Harbour is behind the demon’s make-up along with Ian McShane and Milla Jovovich. When a supernatural and ancient being threatens to end the world as we know it, the aid of Hellboy is called upon to stop her (Jovovich). But what happens when Hellboy struggles with his inner demons about his existence and purpose? Probably what happened in the original Hellboy from 2004. But hey, why not milk that money for a reboot?

Soiled Foundation: The real issues begin at the bottom with this director and this writer. Imagine if a major blockbuster project approached the guy who directs those straight to DVD horror films or the ones that premiere on the SyFy TV station. And then, if your imagination can continue on such a path, envision approaching a “screenwriter” with the same quality of TV show writing on just two projects over the last decade! I understand that people need their big break or whatever. But in a world where Guillermo del Toro delivered to fans one of the most memorable graphic novel adaptations at the time of its release with the first film in 2004 and then with an incredibly underrated sequel, it would come to pass that the studios would not have set Hellboy up to fail so easily. But I guess we cannot come to expect such farfetched philosophies. It is frustrating how bad the script is for this film. Even in a world where we were never given the original films over a decade ago, Hellboy would still be a disastrous script. It is simply the worst major blockbuster script in the last 5 years, maybe even longer. And the fact that the director never yelled “Stop!” when his actors were delivering possibly the worst performances in the last 5 years of science-fiction is a shame to the profession. You can google the names of these two guys if you want. I refuse to waste time writing out their names.

Rewind: This movie is the same plot as the del Toro story from 2004. Different characters, worse dialogue, same path, and finish. There is no surprise during the story. Everything is highly predictable to a point of boredom. Just give del Toro his third installment, please.

David Harbour, I guess: David Harbour is not bad as the titular character. But he did not fill Ron Pearlman’s shoes at all. Harbour probably captured the immature nature of the demon a little better but it never added anything memorable to the film. He has a couple of scenes that, if in the hands of a better script and director, would have offered something promising for this reboot. But alas, nope.

Hellboy is so bad that it makes you angry. Give del Toro and Pearlman their chance to make that third film we all have wanted. And never allow this director and screenwriter to touch a film ever again, please.

Watch Hellboy via Amazon

Hellboy
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